I read the rejoinder written by a one-time journalist
Alex Redd in response to the article entitled Back
from Monrovia written by Bro. Abdoulaye W. Dukule.
I believe the aim of the rejoinder was to help the
unnamed character in the article (the boy’s
father) in rearing his son to be a “good gentleman”.
Firstly, I would extend my candid thanks to Mr. Redd
for his splendid writing that depicts his study as
counseling psychology student and his desire to use
his psychological impartation to “solve problem.”
However, I believe strongly that helping the parents
of the boy does not call for psychological jargons
that have the propensity to further increase the problem
of the child. While, I do not intend to engage this
situation with an academic criticism or debate but
with intend of putting first thing first. This is
the problem that our society is facing. There is a
serious tendency of our cultural pattern for the society
to turn to the secular ways of doing things by ignoring
the God given patterns that have been provided by
the word of God.
The Bible is the only single book that has the proven
capacity to meet the behavioral problems of our children
most especially in this so-called modern world that
we find ourselves in. But it has been ignored by most
of our leaders in high places. For example, the Bible
is no more been emphasized or taught in our public
school, thereto, our children are left with the winds
of assumption or presumptuous theories (what I call
the guessing school of thoughts or the comparative
theory of animal and human being to solve problem).
The Bible is lying in the homes for decoration purposes
on our dividers. That is the tools I wish to recommend
to the parents of that boy, and all desiring help
in rearing their children.
The solution is not going into what Mr. Redd called
the Preventive Approach and Intervention Approach
that pick on the parents or put the blame on someone
and using them as scapegoat for the misbehavior. This
is a complete societal problem that psychologists
have created and fail to solve it long ago. While,
the Bible was ignored to please falling humanity that
is living in the eleventh hour of the giving grace
of God.
Kindly permit me to build on the vacuum approach of
Mr. Redd’s rejoinder. Look at what Mr. Redd
called preventive and intervention approach. “
The preventive approach is a method used as a way
to prevent forth-coming problems or issues. For instance,
a parent may routinely teach his children how to say
an emphatic NO to drugs alcohol and unprotected sex
as well relating to others when it comes to social
pressure. By making them aware of the negative effect
they will take caution while socializing with their
peers. The intervention approach comes into play when
the problem already exists. That is, devising ways
and means to help solve the existing problem since
there are prevalent issues of alcohol abuse, peer
pressure, American media influence as well as permissive
parental influence.”
Mr. Redd goes on to talk about the studies relating
to identity development to parenting style, which
he referred to democratic parents ways of encouraging
children participation.
However, the issues of identity development do not
hold any longer. Because this model directs us to
some personalities that may lead our minds to the
optional theories, which brings about choices within
us. Where there is choice there is the propensity
to be confused; where there is confusion there is
the propensity to get in trouble; where there is a
trouble there is a cause to be condemned; where there
is condemnation there is a willingness to commit crime;
where there is crime there will be an arresting officer
to jail the committer. This is where that teen finds
himself; in the area of identity development crisis
that is taking control of this so-called modern world.
His focus is on the outside world. His sisters are
right underneath him who are living normally because
they are not yet partaking in the identity development
theories of the time. This is what we called in biblical
counseling the uniformity behavior of modern man.
We all want to be just like someone instead of striving
to submit to God’ word which is the unity of
man despite of diversities (uniformity is striving
to be like someone and unity is submitting to God
for the good of all.)
This is the time for us to go back to the Bible, because,
there we can find right model for child rearing in
this modern world. I am sorry that Bro. Abdoulaye
never use the opportunity to direct that brother back
to the Bible.
Let us look at the biblical model of child rearing.
But, before we look at this model of child rearing,
we have to know, what is the Bible? The Bible is the
word of God useful for teaching, correcting, and training
in righteousness, so that people of God may be thoroughly
equipped for every good work, including the rearing
of our children. II Timothy 3:16-17.
This is the basis of my rejoinder on the article:
Back from Monrovia. The word of God is the best tool
available for correcting of our children including
ourselves.
The Bible admonishes us to “train a child in
the way he/she should go and when he/she is old he/she
will not turn from it”(Proverbs 22:6 NIV). The
Bible continues to tell us to train children (age:
0-12) not teenager or youth. This is the mistake that
most parent make in rearing children. We also train
children by sparing the rod and Bible says we should
not spare the rod (see Proverbs 13:24; 22:15). Proverbs
emphasis that the blueness of the wound cleanseth
away evil; so do stripes the inward parts of the belly
(Proverbs 20:30).
With these few verses from the Bible, I would like
to admonish our Liberian parents not to be pro-modernists
in the way that their children will be a mess of the
mass, by this I mean they will follow every winds
of the so-called modern world.
I would like to close with serious advise for our
parents to turn back to the Bible when these children
are between ages:0-12 and not living above this so-called
modern world that is passing away slowly. This is
the time for us to get closer to Jesus Christ and
not “identity development” theory. This
is not the time to look on to the environment to model
our children when the Bible is right on our dividers.
So, let us reach out for our Bible, accept Jesus Christ
as our personal Savior, and get to know Him on a personal
level.
About the author: Henry N. Scere, II
a 2000 graduate of the Gbarnga School of Theology in
Liberia and a seminarian studying Biblical Counseling
at the Central Baptist Theological Seminary in Plymouth,
Minneapolis-Minnesota. Contact him at hscere@centralseminary.edu
or henryscere@yahoo.com